Fear of Success

Are you holding an unconscious fear of success? I may be. A few times, I’ve seen a clear path to make it there only to, in hindsight, self-sabotage. I had done all the leg work, set up everything I needed to complete the task ahead of me, then stopped doing the work. The struggle can be addictive and defining. You fight so hard and champion something so dear to you that when the moment arrives that may lighten the load, you panic because what are you without the struggle? It is undefined and unknown. All you know is that fight. What happens when you can drop you proverbial fists to you side and let the bruises heal? Will you still be recognizable to yourself? The fear of success to those never drinking of its wine is the same as all fears, the fear of not knowing.

Self-awareness arises when you are willing to keep your eyes open to the reality of the situation of how you’ve handled yourself in a similar scenario. It may not hold a direct correlation but the lessons you choose to learn can still apply. I am tired of fighting, enough to find out what happens when you do what is necessary to succeed. I am will to travel under the mountain and see what lies on the other side of the tunnel. After all, I dug the tunnel, and I chose the mountain. The stupidity in not walking to the other side of it is monumental. I will be trembling if I succeed with the worry of losing myself, but I will not let that fear hold me back any longer.

Fear is a horrid creature, it comes at us in its pernicious nature, to gnaw at us until our cord is frayed and weak. To weaken, confound and paralyze. Ignore it and continue forward, that is all we can do to defeat it. I will not be afraid to work, work, work and in turn when the opportunity to move further ahead comes, I will take the step forward. I will be willing to succeed.