Signs You Are Old

That’s a beaut!

I forgot…

Forgetting isn’t just for the olds. It is, however, something you do more often when you’re older. Like forgetting why you walked into a room, someone’s name, where you are.

The need to make sure people know you know things…

People must know about your knowledge.

About everything.

Also, it’s good if your story is better than the one just shared with you. So if someone tells you about the time they met Nancy Sinatra, you let them know you were at the hospital with Frank when she was born.

Things that were easy to do aren’t…

You remember laying on the floor listening to Little Orphan Annie on the wireless radio?

That was great, the way you could pop up from there. Old folks who unwisely place themselves in supine positions must rise in stages.

Painful pops and cracks of joints sound at each repositioning. With a mighty heave, old folks get from a seated or crouching position to up on two feet. Hunched over, straightening the back may take several moments.

Worrying about where the closest bathroom is…

The plumbing is aging, and it’s not what it once was. And it’s not like you can run anymore. Best to keep ole johnny nearby. Or plan accordingly.


Getting home before dark…

Like a reverse vampire, moonlight burns you. Not really, but that’s how olds act. Maybe the elderly know something you don’t. There really are vampires. Oh crap!

But not really. Getting home before dark is just old eyes not wanting to be blinded by headlights. The need smacks of rusty rods and cracking cones inside eyeballs being tired and worn out in our heads.

Waiting for the day you can join AARP or move into the nearest 55+ community…

Well, it’s true. AARP starts soliciting folks a decade or more from when they are considered senior and looks like they have some great discounts for their members.

And who doesn’t want their second car to be a golf cart to ride to the clubhouse for bingo night? No one I know.

Leave a Reply

Powered by

%d bloggers like this: